A friend and I came up with these one sad summer day a year or two ago to eliminate the constant yo-yoing involved in any romantic relationship. Take them as frivolous idiotic whims or concrete axioms to live by.

The Rules

1) Don't get emotionally attached

2) Never ever say "I Love You"

3) When you break up, wait at least 24 hours before talking or seeing each other.


The Reasoning

3) The reasoning behind this one is very simple. In the event of any break up, the inclination to call or see the other person will be very high. If you do allow yourself less than the necessary 24 hours (this rule may have to be amended to 72 hours) to think and reflect, you will only find yourself saying the dreaded "I Miss You." This will lead into a perpetual downward spiral in which you will find yourself breaking up over and over again only to get back together within 24 hours each time. This yo-yo-ing is a major factor in contributing to the unstableness of any relationship. If you can muster the courage to say "It's over," please remain strong and do not allow any communication for at least 24 hours.

2) Oh the three magical words that set any heart aflutter. Because "I Love You" means so many things, it can also be misinterpreted in many ways. Just as a sword cuts both ways, "I Love You" cuts both ways. Sometimes in the throes of relationship ecstacy, people are inclined to blurt out "I Love You" as a way of cementing the bond that they both feel. This will lead however to eventual pain and much mental anguish because as we know, in the real world, 80% of relationships don't work out and after having said "I Love You," there is no turning back. Think of it this way, each time you say "I Love You," you are putting another spadeful of dirt on your relationship coffin.

If you must say something, say "I Like You Very Much" or the ever popular, "You're Great!" or the ever less popular, "You're Pretty Neat." There is a world of difference between "I Like You Very Much" and "I Love You." Don't make that jump from one to the other without realizing the implications of your actions. The next logical step from "I Like You Very Much" doesn't have to be "I Love You."

Of course if you must say "I Love You," save it for right before you get married, that way, it will be something real.

1) Here we come to the rule that is the most important, it isn't number one for nothing. "Don't Get Emotionally Attached." This doesn't mean that you can't be emotional per se, but just keep a broad view and don't get attached. Shit happens. Always does, always will. So instead of going with your gut instincts (which is often wrong) about where the relationship is heading, or the potential for a relationship, trust your mind and stay a little emotionally distant. This rule applies more for those who are in the process of starting a relationship because once you are in one, emotional attachment is expected.

Think of this rule as rule number one in the "Tao of Relationships." Do not try to over-analyse or over-pressure a situation. Allow a relationship to form freely and you won't be sitting there waiting for that phone call or that one sign that he/she/it "really really likes" you. In addition, you will not be hurt as often if plans suddenly go awry. Remember however, this is not akin to "playing games." If you are partial to the other person, let them know it. But also do not allow yourself to be waiting at every moment for their response. Read the vibe, go with the flow and keep yourself in check. DO NOT get all emotional when things seem like they are going bad. If you can be emotionally distant, you have already won half the battle in controlling your pain and suffering.


Ok, that's it for now. I'll have to go back and re-write this since this is off the top of my head and i'm sure some (if not most) of it is re-editable.