dear basketball god(s): thank you for a great celtic season. i am humbled by your generosity. 49-33 is more than i had ever wished for so early into the twenty-first century. i was hoping for maybe a 2005 resurgence but your timing is, as always, impeccable. i am constantly reminded of your good works. especially now, when we are poised on the fortnight of our virgin voyage into the playoffs. (not to quibble over the details but it's been nearly a decade since we've played into may. a decade. as in ten. years. but who's counting really?)
thank you for antoine's 22.1 pts, 8.8 rebs, 5 asts, 1.51 stls, and 2.7 threes a game. thank you for paul's emergence as a superstar. the 26.1 pts, 6.9 rebs, 3.2 asts, 1.88 stls, 1.05 blks and 2.6 threes was a particularly nice show of generosity after his near fatal stabbing last year. thank you for the coolest nickname ever, paul "the truth" pierce. even if it was bestowed by our sworn worst enemy. your ways are mysterious. as an addendum, thank you for ben wallace. why you have bestowed his 13 rebs, 3.47 blks and 1.73 stls on the pistons is beyond me, but again, your ways are mysterious.
i believe that you are an omniscient god. i believe that you are an omnipresent god. however, i have some nagging doubts about that omnipotence part. curse me. yes, i know. i am only a poor to average basketball player after all. perhaps as a demonstration of your omnipotence you could use your godly might to make the celtics win championship banner seventeen? i think i would believe then.
if by some miracle the celtics win the championship this year, i won't tell anyone that you made an exception for me. actually, if the celtics win a championship before i turn thirty (let me do the math for you to save some time. that's six years away. but again, who's counting?), that might be acceptable too. you blessed the patriots this past year, perhaps you might want to shine your holy light upon the whole greater boston area? just a thought. and remember, multiple championships are redeemable for exponential increases in faith. not that i would ever think of bartering with you bgod(s). if i may call you that.
humbled. as always. your slow moving, non-gravity defying, i've got a cartilage-free knee, poor judge of distancing, non-dribbling servant.
crikee. if this works, i'm praying to the tetris gods next...