Wednesday, July 30 1:47
the man preferred by four out of five women (conviently dubbed "80cent"
as in eighty percent). or as a fellow five put it, "four out of five
women prefer him over me." as presented to you by jmz
wang, whose talents are mine to display because he's too damn
lazy to make his own site. without further adieu, for your viewing
babb. posters, tee-shirts, phone numbers and other merchandise
are available by special request.
and for the record, let it be known that babbs knows everyone in san
diego. everyone. i'm not sure how one man knows everyone but it just
happens. we are nominating babbs for mayor of san diego so get ready
to make your voice heard at the polls. rock the vote. brian from michigan,
mayor of san diego. it's happening.
i said i need a man who got finesse and his whole name across his
he may be able to fly all through the night but he can't rock a party
through the early light
he can't satisfy you with his little worm but i can bust you out with
i go do it - i go do it - i go do it - do it - do it
and i'm here and i'm there and i'm big bad B and i'm everywhere
Tuesday, July 29 3:40
get it percolating. remember those old math problems? about how
to make the most efficient use of people's skills or talents? so that
even if billy is best at everything, the world would be better off
if he did the thing he was best at. so that even if joe wasn't very
good at say, making peanuts, it would more efficient if joe made peanuts
while billy made pears. because the maximum utility could be reached
by using some formula cross referencing time and personal efficiency.
there's a term for this, i know there is. but i can't remember anything
pre-yesterday so all my education is lost on me.
so in lieu of finding something that you just have to do, the best
thing to do in life is to find the thing that you do best and do it.
wow. brilliant. award me a medal. i like to pawn off truisms obvious
to all as my very own. next i'll say that love makes the world go
round. but this "best" thing causes problems for some people. "what
do i do best?" that's a common parlour question for our age group.
right along with "what do i want to do?" but screw want, nobody gets
what they want anyway. and we all know that wants can change willy
how to determine what you do best? everyone has skills and abilities
and talents but how to determine which is the best? one might be inclined
to say that the thing that you do "best" would enable you to make
the most money. or allow you to have the most success. or allow you
the most happiness. so that even if the best thing you do is take
out the trash, the least you could do is make mad money sanitizing
curbs and dumping stuff. i'm not talking about being "the best," just
best. there are very few things that anyone can do to be "the best."
but everyone has a personal best. like my best video game skill is
the original street fighter two on super nintendo. me and guile will
rock your world. so that's my best. and even if your best gets whooped
by my best you have to keep plugging away with it anyway.
some people right now, are engaged in the process of finding out what
they do best. they are working, they are learning, they are in school,
they are going out and interning and applicating. some people already
found their best. they are already actively engaged in their best.
those kind of people impress me. golf clap all around. many of my
best skills are totally superfluous so i'm engaged in trying to figure
out what it is that i might be best at. actually, i'm more in my want
stage because i feel like best will just come.
but that's kind of contradictory to what i was trying to bring up
before. the utility of everyone doing their best. but my point has
been lost to the wind. which has been happening quite alot, leaving
me with not much to say. but oh well. the key thing to do in any situation
is to find your role. your niche. niche is so cliqued by the way,
isn't it? once you've settled into that niche everything else will
happen correctly. at least that's what i've been told. and isn't it
terrible when someone asks you "hey, what do i do best?" and you can't
answer because you don't know? should your best be defined by you
or by other people? i'm inclined to say you but in reality it may
be better to rely on the outside world, they are after all, the people
utlizing and recognizing your best.
"it is better to be silent and be a thought a fool than to speak and
prove it." that's what i wrote to a high school friend in his yearbook.
i think he got kinda angry. i think about this phrase and disregard
it as foolishness. it's far better to spew shit out and hope for some
gems among the crap. it's gotten me this far, why stop now?
Sunday, July 27 1:12
rider.in a small new zealand coastal village, maori claim
descent from paikea, the whale rider. in every generation for more
than 1000 years, a male heir born to the chief succeeds to the title.
the time is now. the chief's eldest son, porourangi, fathers twins
- a boy and a girl. but the boy and his mother die in childbirth.
the surviving girl is named pai.
is off the hook. that's not even the right phrase. because using "off
the hook" is not the correct way to impart what i'm feeling about
this movie. it's just dope. that's not the right word either. in fact,
my vocabulary totally fails me in every which way when trying to describe
this movie. suffice to say, i liked it alot. the story was simple
yet full. the acting was dead on real. the mixture of images, emotions
and languages was entrancing. oh look, i'm trying to use my limited
vocabulary to describe something i already said i couldn't do. that's
me, ever trying to do the impossible. relatedly, trying to find a
job right now, it's going great as you can tell.
but this movie. it was worth the nine twenty five. it was worth watching
on the big screen. lynnchen said it was the best film she'd seen all
year and i'd have to agree. not that there have been very many great
movies this year. but still. high praise. the lynnjon movie review
gives it two thumbs up. the damn movie damn near made me cry. that's
two damns for emphasis. i can't recall ever crying in a movie. it
just hit on alot of personal levels. some of it explainable, some
of it not. but even without all the personal effects, the movie is
just touching on a general plane. the little girl in the movie can
emote man. go watch this thing. so worth it.
Saturday, July 26 8:02
eye for the straight guy. following in the tradition of iron
chef, trading spaces and punk'd, a new show has emerged as a must
see. every man needs a woman but apparently a woman can be replaced
by five gay men. at least from some perspectives. a new show on bravo,
eye takes one straight man and allows him to be made over by five
gay ones. the five gay guys are experts in the fields of grooming,
food&wine, fashion, culture and interior design. every man woman and
child needs these guys. they can work miracles. i've seen three episodes
so far, all of them at least twice.
the show combines the dramatic changes that we love in all makeover
shows but also gives us hilarious moments and comments at every step.
the intro is enough to make you start chuckling with laughter. the
main dude, one carson
kressley, is hilarious as all get out. and for you rent
rodriguez (of angel fame) is the culture expert. basically the
show has the potential to change your life. they take some yokel and
transform him into a dashing charming prince, from wardrobe to home,
from hair to edibles. it's simply amazing. it's like butter. i want
them to come over and give me new clothes, furniture and cds.
but alas, as i was discussing with a fellow straight guy, we are relating
more with the gay guys. some of the straight guys they pick just have
no clue. and not to say that i have much clue but i'm sorry, i have
a clue. so i could never be a candidate for this extreme makeover.
but this is a quality show men and women can watch together. families
even. kids need this type of education from an early age, keep it
real. arithmetic and academics are so variable, style lasts forever.
to this end, helpful hints are tossed out at the end of every episode
and every scene is practically a "how to be a stylish guy" epiphany.
so i'm calling it now, queer eye for a straight guy, the best show
oh look, my masculinity, floating away... i should add something in
here about football or like, sausages or something. but why pretend
Friday, July 25 12:09
phrase, meaning a situation where one bureaucratic regulation
is dependent on another, which in turn is dependent on the first,
derives from the 1961 novel of the same name by joseph heller.
yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. "is orr
"he sure is," doc daneeka said.
"can you ground him?"
"i sure can. but first he has to ask me to. that's part of the rule."
"then why doesn't he ask you to?"
"because he's crazy," doc daneeka said. "he has to be crazy to keep
flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. sure, i
can ground orr. but first he has to ask me to."
"that's all he has to do to be grounded?"
"that's all. let him ask me."
"and then you can ground him?" yossarian asked.
"no. then i can't ground him."
"you mean there's a catch?"
"sure there's a catch," doc daneeka replied. "catch-22. anyone who
wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
there was only one catch and that was catch-22, which specified that
a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real
and immediate was the process of a rational mind. orr was crazy and
could be grounded. all he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did,
he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. orr
would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if
he was sane he had to fly them. if he flew them he was crazy and didn't
have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. yossarian
was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of
catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
"that's some catch, that catch-22," he observed.
"it's the best there is," doc daneeka agreed.
Wednesday, July 23 6:21
\sin-KRET-ik; sing-\, adjective: uniting and blending together
different systems, as of philosophy, morals, or religion. is
this a great word or what? i didn't even know a word existed for an
idea like this. this could be my new favorite word. although using
it in a sentence might be kinda difficult. but i enjoy a good challenge.
plus i don't fear using words incorrectly. fyi, two people that i
know, not to be named, thought cornrows were cornrolls and that bow-legged
was bull-legged. funny people.
don't even start on that "infrared" shit with me. to pre-empt any
"jon is stupid as stupid does" comments, i've been called out for
my incorrect pronounciation of the word infrared. i still think that
i'm right. but so far i haven't found any evidence to support myself.
but fuck it, i can make up pronounciations if i want to. i blame my
fob upbringing for my sudden lack of clarity. i am not from this country
so back off.
there is a fox in hong's
front yard. an honest to goodness orange fox with black tips. what
the heck. where did that come from? she must be looking for a hound.
awn, how cute. run fox run. it's definitely past my bedtime.
Tuesday, July 22 10:50
warrior nation. we all remember the ultimate
warrior right? that mysterious
rope shaking adrenaline pumping wrestler who once defeated the indomitable
hulk hogan? well, he's back on the public scene and now he's a political
speaker. jim hellwig, who has now changed his legal name to warrior,
was on tv the other day sharing his views on politics, life and philosophy.
at first i was in disbelief. this gray haired old man was the ultimate
warrior? but the caption said that the warrior was "former world wrestling
federation champion" and nobody else would dare infringe upon that
name so i had to believe. *rawr* the shocking thing was that
the warrior was mad eloquent and intelligent. not to say that wrestlers
can't be eloquent or intelligent but when you're used to seeing a
guy body slamming folk, the last place you expect him to be is all
up on your television screen preaching his conservatist beliefs. but
as was pointed out, wrestlers are used to reading teleprompters and
public speaking (yelling?) so they could, in some alternate universe,
be excellent speakers.
the craziest thing was that i was feeling some of what the warrior
to say. he name dropped some rand, talking about how people should
have a philosophy based on rational thought and not just some mish
mash of crap pulled together into a churning hypocritical lifestyle.
he addressed many issues that are facing young adults today and while
i didn't listen to enough of the speech, the combination of his words
and his past intrigued me enough to want to see what he had to say.
so i'll have to keep my eye out for the warrior on cnn. the world
is going crazy man.
are wrestlers as political pundits the newest thing?
Monday, July 21 10:57
we're cleaning out our house and george
comes across some very amusing and interesting items. for one, a diet
plan conceived by her and her friend. terms were agreed to and they
promised to "not violate rule of this contract." also some very helpful
and good advice she received from one of her friends about how to
deal with guys. now, we all want to know what was said to george so
as a public service, i'm posting them here. so be prepared. also,
go check out george here.
remember that you are a person of great value and worth. don't forget
that, okay? and no one, no matter how attracted you are to someone,
no matter how cute a guy is, no matter how nice a guy is, he has no
right to make you feel second best. it is then that he is the person
of leser value. if he cannot respect you, then maybe he is not worth
it!! also, you must prove to him that you are not his slave, that
you have a heart and mind, and that you will not be taken for granted.
don't you EVER forget it!!
ten commandments for love and friendship
1. thou shalt not be susceptible to the feeling of inferiority
2. thou shall not call him
3. thou shall not be harassed
4. thou shall be respected
5. thou shall not run to his beck and call
6. thou shall be the first to hang up on phone conversations
7. thou shall remain "seductively distant"
8. thou shall talk about other male creatures
9. thou shall not be his 2nd choice
10. thou shall be important to thy self
: "getting in shape"
rules by georgette and jennifer. this is a contract effective
november 15, 1999, and applies only to both georgette and jennifer
xxx. the expiration of this contract is indefinite.
1. no eating meals after 7:00pm. the only allowed foods after this
time are fruits and vegetables.
2. limits on alchohol: one per occassion...no exceptions. (well holidays
and birthday are the only exceptions...must be verifiable).
3. minimum work out time: one hour per day.
4. minimum days to work out: four days a week.
5. drink at least 64 oz (four bottles) of water per day
6. no empty calories, such as quivers, coffee, candy (gum is okay).
7. maximum junk food (fried foods/fast food): one meal per week.
8. maximum dessert intake: one dessert allowed per week.
9. dining out: we must split a main entree and dessert.
10. keep track of progress (log days, times, and details of work out).
we, georgette and jennifer xxx, agree to the above terms and will
not violate rule of this contract.
Sunday, July 20 1:59
was trying to introduce me to punk music on the car ride home today.
punk as defined by...well, i can't really define punk and i would
do a great injustice to everyone by me trying to explain what punk
was based on one conversation. i listened to some "newer" punk, not
the ramones or the sex pistols but stuff like lagwagon, blink 182,
no use for a name and........ the names aren't important. what was
important was me trying to look into a different type of music. i
am, as we all know, highly addicted to hip hop and hip hop related
music. so i rarely stray from that except to reminisce over music
from the past. so opening my ears and trying to hear a new genre of
music for the first time was very interesting.
first off, i couldn't understand a thing they were saying. i couldn't
decipher the lyrics. lots of screaming and weird enunciations. or
no enunciations at all. i couldn't quite grasp what was going on or
what the song was "about." then the music. i liked the beginnings
of most songs, with the guitar, the bass, the drums going on. until
the drums started just going nuts and the everything started going
nuts and everything just turned into noise for me. most of what i
was exposed to today was socal punk so that's more the style here,
and all punk is apparently not fast. i was surprised at how melodic
punk was. i'm not sure what i expected but i thought punk would be
more akin to metal or something. but i heard melodies in the noise
and i could kind of feel it. i wondered if this was the sort of feeling
people who hear hip hop feel when they say "it's just noise."
the emotions from punk is way different though. it's just anger anger
anger, thrash thrash thrash. i'm overgeneralizing here. but punk to
me seemed to just rev you up, with no way to release it. i can't imagine
what one would do with punk. you can't dance to it. you can't groove
to it. you can nod your head and get all fury like. i guess that's
what moshing is made for.
so i've been exposed to punk for a second. i learned something at
the very least. i can't say i like it. or that i dislike it. but it's
not "me." but that maybe because i haven't listened to it much. but
with some music i'm just like "that's me." like old school funk. i
need to find more of that stuff. get educated about it. because i
really like it. so that is my mission.
i am also a firm believer that looking at a list of the music that
somebody listens to can be very revealing and indicative of a person.
it's not like movies or books because as was talked about, music can
go straight to the emotion. you feel it or you don't. so by perusing
a list of the music that someone listens to, you can get a grasp of
who they are. i know it's dangerous to overgeneralize like this but
isn't it true, when you talk to someone, and you find out that you
have a common band that you love, you are inclined to like them even
more? maybe because you assume that both of you relate to the music
on some level that you can share. so music is life. but we knew that
Friday, July 18 5:12
i am his pimp and he has decided to never blog again, pictures of
camping from jmz
are available here.
they are fine pictures. if overly big files. but the wait is well
worth it. they went to colorado, utah, arizona and who knows where
else. i was supposed to be the fourth contestant but there was some
doubt as to my camping worthiness. could i make fire with my bare
hands? could i "rough" it and sleep with complete disregard for my
sanitary safety? could i handle the rough and tumble open skies? would
the call of the wild make me scream like a child? could i paddle and
bicycle down treacherous windy rivers/roads? these are all questions
that were asked. but since i never went on the trip i could not prove
my camping/road trip worthiness. but for the record, i am quite the
camper. don't let this prissy obsessive compulsive exterior fool you.
deep inside i have a bearded paul bunyan inside me. at least a little
huck finn. we used to go camping all the time. i've cross country
skied ridiculous amounts, i've canoed in the middle of a mild storm
(mild meaning rain), i've slept on a beach with pigs, i've gotten
lice from well, lice. i've hiked double digit miles. it may not sound
like much, but it's more than you might guess, looking at me sitting
on a couch, napping away. don't let the cover fool you, my pages are
brown and dirty.
Wednesday, July 16 6:19
left my heart in san francisco. what i did on my northern californian
vacation. first off, i drove north. up from san diego. past los angeles.
through bakersville. under a tunnel and through the wood, to tien's
house we went. we unfortunately passed by a town named gilroy, that
reeked heavily of garlic. gilroy garlic, get it? yeah, me neither.
avoid gilroy at all costs. for your sanity if not your clothes.
tien lives in a house adjacent to her parents house. so it's like
a guesthouse next to a house. or a house next to another house joined
by a communal backyard and used by one family. a two for one if you
will. pretty exciting stuff. in layman's terms this means the house
she lives in is very close to her parent's house -- about five feet
apart i would say -- but yet far enough apart to allow for freedom
of lounging. did i mention her house has a huge television, a pool
table and a ping pong table? yes. heaven is a place like tien's house.
she had popsicles too. some of which were mistaken for banana flavor
instead of tropical. people should not put images of bananas on the
packaging if the flavor is really tropical. marketing folk take note,
nobody likes banana popsicles. lord if i should die and am not slated
to arise miraculously, send me to tien's house. thanks. you're the
i could give a hoe down of what we did at tien's house but that might
induce you to rush right over to go visit her. and she's far too important
and busy to be entertaining other people aside from us. so i'll try
to describe everything in as short a manner as possible. we barbequed.
we ate exponentially. we triangulated and watched movies (spirited
away is quite excellent even if i don't really get it). we frolicked
amongst goose poop. we scavenged in berkeley with digital cameras.
all praise digital cameras. more on scavenging later but suffice to
say berkeley employs suspected child molestors in thrift stores. we
shot the shit. we shit alot. we drank beer. we played kings. we learned
jewish songs that have lyrics like "wherever you go there's always
someone jewish / you're never alone cuz god made you a jew."
refer to amit
for the full lyrics and the melody. this song is quite possibly the
funniest song i have ever heard. and i've heard some funny songs.
i visited some spots in the bay. i have some thoughts on the bay and
perception versus the opposite of perception but those aren't coordinated
yet so i'll leave them be. the weather in the bay was perfect and
if the weather was like that all the time i might consider moving
to the bay. but i know it's not always like that so this past week
i've been living a lie. do i feel dirty? yes i do. but that's probably
from the lack of showering. ah. i love suburban camping. brings out
i'm still up north so don't bother me. actually that's totally misleading
since i'm really writing this on friday 4:10am from victor's
apartment (we didn't quite make it all the way down to san diego tonight).
so once again i'm entrapped in a lie. but see, since i put a place
marker in my blog from wednesday so i could go back and talk about
wednesday, i have to pretend it's wednesday even though it's really
already friday. blog reality is all warped. but it makes more sense
than real reality doesn't it?
Friday, July 11 4:03
i just want you to know. awhile back, the idea came up of "accepting"
versus "receiving" people. ask yourself, do you receive a friend or
do you accept a friend? the reason it came up was because somebody
had been trying to describe how they combined the strict negative
christian view on homosexuals versus their own personal views and
interactions. the answer that was given was that they "accepted" the
part of a person that was homosexual and thus was able to accept the
entire being. babbs
however, posited that by using the word "accept," it implied that
the part that was being accepted was, in a sense, only tolerated or
allowed. it may seem like semantically splitting peas, but i thought
that there was something to the idea that "accept" is not as fully
embracing as it may seem.
in contrast to accepting, "receiving" an individual might mean that
you take them all, lock stock and barrel. by receiving someone, you
are looking at the whole and accepting everything as a single unified
unit, as opposed to only taking in parts of them and then accepting
the rest, like some piece of excess baggage. how much of a difference
does this make? it makes a world of difference. receiving someone
is taking all their faults, all their contradictions, all their insecurities,
all their inadequacies together with all their positive attributes.
accepting someone is picking bits and pieces that you like and tolerating
the rest but perhaps hoping that the extra luggage could be jettissoned
to create a better person. maybe it's a subtle difference in word
use and language but it's something to think about.
in that same conversation, a question that i had always had about
how homosexuals fit into a christian framework was finally adequately
answered. at least for my peace of mind and rationale. the answer
was simple, but nobody had broken it down for me quite like this.
the answer was that even if the bible perceives homosexuality as a
sin, it is no worse than any other sin. and if we are all born into
sin, and accept christ to absolve those sins, then homosexuality is
no different than lying or cheating. all sins are equal after all,
in the big scheme of things. so if we are all sinners, there is no
incompatability between what the bible says is wrong and what it's
framework can accept. because if jesus is love, and his role is to
accept everyone despite their sins, then homosexuals and homosexuality
can find a place and can seek solace in god. and that finally made
perfect sense to me.
in any case, i strive to receive everyone for who they are. and not
to just accept. i'm not sure if i do this well or not, but at least
now i can define what it is i'm heading towards in my relations with
people and in particular, friends.
Thursday, July 10 2:00
as i enter the room i absorb the mood
positive vibe supplied by a positive crew
and negativity exist and you must acknowledge
you can be intelligent and never go to college
'cause the way we live in society
it ain't really the way that it's supposed to be
and don't get close to me if you're contaminated
take a picture of your soul and get it laminated
put them in your wallet next to your money
money represents your whole and soul represents your honey
ain't got honey then you ain't got bees
and if you ain't got no money i'ma still mc
then empty l-o-v-e all over the track
once you r-e-d then you never go back
'til the end of studio with the peas as black
with adam, taboo, and alligator apl de ap -black
eyed peas, duet-
Wednesday, July 9 3:41
actually, it's kind of interesting. i've been doing a little figureskating.
been out here for a few days with us and itís been bachelor craziness.
sleep at dawn? wake up at two? eat one meal a day? basketball every
day? play seriously competitive games of risk? ultra serious games
of monopoly? xbox till the music stops? weíve done it all. a young
man about to get hitched should always have a week like this, one
with the boys, doing manly male things.
manly male stuff like revealing ďwhatís one movie that you would be
embarrassed to tell your guy friends that you liked?Ē the answers
ranged from a walk to remember, serendipity, beautiful girls, romy
and michelle's high school reunion. and then bam, someone says "the
cutting edge". and itís over. this directly leads to a cutting
edge dvd rental and an attempted marathon to see who could watch the
movie on repeat the longest. i can almost guarantee you that no other
group of guys on the planet will be quoting cutting edge like we will
be quoting cutting edge. well what do you do, soak them in battery
acid? do we know how to party or what?
i wish i had some way to get some video on here, because there was
some fine music jamming last night that i caught on tape. gene and
victor on guitar, james on keyboard, eric and babbs on vocals. delicious.
hilarity ensued let me tell you. itís kind of hard to describe this
type of fun without the full use of video and audio capture. aniwaise.
board games? sappy movies? baking?
chess? video games? singing? what kind of damn bachelor party are
we throwing here? where are the naked romping girls you ask? where
is the debauchery? where is the alchohol? where are the drunken escapades
that can never be talked about in polite society ever again? well,
we still have a few days left, and this sitting around doing nothing
must wear on us right? oh wait, we have a copy of center
stage to get to tonight. the debauchery will have to wait.
Monday, July 7 6:30
: so iím gone. out of the
house, out of my momís hair. out of a job. out of lots of things.
i am fully moved into hotel
pan and my room is an organized mess of boxes and crap i donít
think i'll really need. the short story is also that people are visiting,
my computer is in transit, my time is precious, and i must live my
life, instead of blogging it. the feel of life has quickly changed
over an independence weekend. especially when everything is getting
boxed up and everyoneís telling you to ďget your shit together!Ē but
to that i say ďnobody -- nobody can eat fifty eggs."
who am i kidding? i miss blogging. i miss my computer time. am i loser?
or just another misguided youth being taken for a spin by my naivette
and carefree charm? the answers may never come. till tomorrow speaks.
Thursday, July 3 12:05
got smack. i love love love it when girls talk shit.
not like behind the scenes gossipy catty shit, but like up front make
fun of you so everyone goes "ooooh" shit. girls who do that are cool.
i feel like society suppresses the competitive nature of women. because
it's not "ladylike" to talk shit. i could be wrong here. broad generalizations
like this tend to get me in trouble. but i wonder why girls don't
normally talk shit like guys do. for one, girls are probably more
sensitive, they take things more personally. for two, it's deemed
"not attractive" if foul things are coming out of a female's mouth.
i however, dig it. i like it when girls get mean and have a little
edge and wit.
another thing is that most girls, when they do talk shit about other
girls, it probably tends to be very true and meant in a derogatory
way. when guys shit talk, there's always a hint of truth but most
of it is just for the sole purpose of making fun of somebody. but
with girls, when they say something like "damn, you ugly," they probably
mean it. and not only that, telling a girl that they ugly is probably
far different than telling a guy. guys don't mind cutting each other
down, or of being reminded that they are losers (unless you're way
insecure in which case you have more issues than i could address here).
but girls probably don't enjoy it as much. or if they do, they are
more aware of the negative aspects of social shit calling. and so
when they want to say something, maybe they suppress it. i'm here
to say though, if you have mean nasty funny things to say, say it!
scream it for all the world to hear. because damn, shit talking is
only if you do it right though. and if you don't "take it there."
sometimes "there" is too far. and some people don't quite understand
that. but that type of stupidity is not specific to any one gender.
that type of stupidity is an equal opportunity invader.
anyway, the moral of the story is that girls who are mad competitive
or are full of shit talk equals dope.
: and i was watching wimbledon
(who knew it was wimbleDon and not wimbleTon?) the other day. watching
go at it. i enjoy watching them play because both of them are just
straight powerful. they are not your delicate flower type of athletes,
they are built solidly and play with unmatched power and grace. and
while i've heard some male friends go "damn, she's sick! ugh!" i rather
admire all that muscle attached to a female frame. don't get all crazy
now, sick is sick when it's espn2 women's bodybuilding but watching
someone use their body for an athletic purpose impresses me. i had
a grander point to go on here. something to do with women's bodies
and the dynamic between having an extremely athletic body versus the
"feminine figure" as exhibited in media, but i've completely lost
it. maybe it'll come back. doubtful though.
Wednesday, July 2 3:12
: life in the circus ain't
easy. but the folks on the outside don't know. the tent goes up and
the tent comes down. and all that they see is the show. and the ladies
on the horses look so pretty. and the lions are lookin real mad. and
some of the clowns are happy. and some of the clowns are sad. but
underneath there's another expression that the makeup isn't making.
life under the big top, it's about freedom, it's about faking. there's
an art to the laughter, there's a science and there's a lot of love
welcome to the freakshow, here we go...
we live to hear the slack-jawed gasping. we live under a halo of held
breath. and when the children raise up a giant shield of laughter,
it's like they're fending off death and we can make somethig bigger
than anyone of us alone. and then the clowns will take off their makeup
and the people will go home. but life on the outside ain't easy. no
sequins, no elephants, no parading around. yeah, the tent goes up
and the tent comes down and they're stuck in this fucking town. you
need a lot of love and compliance.
Tuesday, July 1 6:43
the life of me i cannot remember what made us think that we were wise
and we'd never compromise... a little breath of life was in effect
last night. it's been awhile since i've been engaged in a conversation.
like really engaged. to the point where things are clicking and i'm
seeing things laid out for me clearly and i'm taking my philosophies
out for a spin and explaining, adding onto it. i needed that type
of moment and it was there and available. i really think work has
killed my joie de vive, at least the late night one. not being able
to stay up late and talk to people has made me a dull and boring jack.
then again, the AIM conversations i've had at work have been priceless.
what bored work people did pre-AIM is beyond me. oh by the way i'm
done with work so i'm just bumming for the next two weeks. so fun
is not only forthcoming, it's rapidly approaching. two nearly identical
words used together to extend a sentence for no purpose whatsoever....so
annoying isn't it? the thesaurus should of died when the meteor hit.
so last night we had an encounter with somebody. not a bum, not a
panhandler, not a liar, not an entertainer, not a man down on his
luck. not anything i could put a label on. mainly because i couldn't
be sure what he "was," if one is ever able to label anyone in such
a way and be accurate. he was singing some songs, doing a little bob
marley, doing a little doo wop. we were feeling it, and it was a nice
scene. then things got a tad strange. he got into a story about his
situation and what he needed and so on. and that's cool. i mean, be
who you are, what you got to do to survive. my philosophy on life
is not supposed to include giving money to people. but that's a randian
point i'm not sure i can come to grips with quite yet (my feelings
on this particular topic is like five or six blogs). anyway, the situation
and the conversation was long and interesting. we left him with sixteen,
seventeen dollars, after forty five minutes of interaction and headed
home. for the record, none of that dinero was mine, for reasons that
would take alot to get into right now. aniwaise.
we go home, get into how we each perceived the situation, what we
were all thinking. what moral, social, psychological issues were at
hand. a bit of religion talk was delved into. but not really about
religion. more about a few guys, sitting up to the break of dawn,
trying to divine a little bit of what this here life is all about.
using one incidence as a jumping off point and as a common experience
to relate to. it's weird, it's cool, when three people coming from
different places, perceptions, philosophies, can reach a sort of unimind,
if only for a night, to facilitate exchange and education. it's been
there is too much to write about here. i wish i could go into every
epiphany or moment of "oh, okay" that i had yesterday. but that would
take pages. so it's better reserved for a conversation, or another
form of expression. already, the memories, the details are fading.
i hate that. i am going to implant my eyes with mini-cameras, like
olhado from speaker
for the dead. his eyes were metal
and capable of recording video and audio. he could sit there and go
over his recordings whenever he wanted, never letting memories be
twisted by nostalgia or time. then again, he could never escape from
"what really happened." would that type of objectivity make us better
or worse? when the story can be rewound and fast forwarded, and copied
for all to see?
on a related but unrelated note. it's so interesting to see people's
reactions to things. people's reactions and impressions of events,
situations or other people. it's not only telling of what you might
be missing, but also of what the people you already know are like
as people. it's eye opening sometimes. more on this whole bit later.
...and (n)ow we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the